Bangs, not as easy as you think

EmCat understands that bangs serve as a crucial part of any lady's look. Bangs, or fringe to our friends on the other side of the pond, serve as the curtain that frames the window to our soul and can either make you or break you. However, bangs are not equal opportunity. For most, the side swept bangs are an okay look. EmCat has rocked that look in the past and some of us continue to rock it. It's cool.

However, there are some bang styles that you SHOULD NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ever wear. We will refer to this bang cut as the "blunt cut" famously rocked by Pippi Longstocking and most recently by Zooey Deschanel. But, as we are painfully reminded of every freaking time we get off the Belmont stop, try as you might, not everyone can be Zooey Deschanel. Zooey is really a freak of nature anyway, she is so adorable and cute so of course she can work any look imaginable. These rules probably don't apply to you (actually, they don't-- so forget we said 'probably') and they sure as hell don't apply to us, either.

Celebs like Kelly Osbourne, Keira Knightley, and that lady from 'Millionaire Matchmaker' have all, unsuccessfully, tried to rock the blunt bangs. These flaming failures have done little to deter many girls from thinking that just because their hair stylist can hack their bangs across their forehead, it somehow qualifies them BAMF enough to rock the blunt bangs look. I can go to American Apparel and get a neon colored unitard, that doesn't mean it's going to look good on me, you know?

Reasons why you can't rock the blunt cut bangs and should just let it go:

1. Your face is really round and they just make you look awkward (trust me, Emily had an experience like this before she left to study abroad. She spent the first half of the semester explaining to everyone that her hairdresser screwed up and that she didn't choose for her bangs to look that way. She has now gone 14 months without a haircut)

2. You'll probably look like a mom, and who wants that? (p.s. dressing in "career" clothes while out at the bars isn't doing you any favors either)

3. You have thin hair and it looks like weird stringy, gross straw. Can you say "ew"?

4. Blunt bangs are a highly technical hairstyle that requires styling. If you can't commit, don't get the cut!

We keep it real, that's why we're writing this. And that's why we haven't had those kind of bangs since we were 5. We also haven't worn windbreaker pants since then, we've learned. So should you. All too often, some misguided soul will get this haircut, look bad and STILL have people (disingenuously) be all like, "Oh my God! Your hair looks so cute! No, you can TOTALLY wear your hair like that!"

You can't. Your friends are not keeping it real with you. We are.